Rules of the Road

This week for Peyton's 11th birthday, we took her for a trip to Six Flags and a Ranger's game.  As I was being herded around at Six Flags and herded around at the Ranger's game, I looked around and saw other families in similar circumstances being herded as well through gates.  This made me come to realize several universal truths when it comes to travel.  These are my observations:

1)  If you offer a free firework show and a Continental breakfast, you could pretty much herd humans any where you want them to go.  After seeing such movies as Super 8 and Transformers this summer, aliens might take note.  I think Continental breakfasts and free fireworks are the key to world domination.

2)  If you have children, you will never ever set by the window again during a flight.

3)  If you fly, your children are guaranteed to win the hugest stuffed animal offered at the amusement games.  Thus leaving you to figure out how to get a Giant Angry Bird and Bugs Bunny through Security at the airport.  

4)  Giant stuffed animals can be stuffed in suitcases.  (Be thankful they did not win the Giant Chiquita Banana with dread locks or the electric guitar!)  

5)  If you are hot enough to ride the water ride first at the amusement park, you will suffer the consequences of looking like a drowned rat for the rest of the day with your hair stuck to your head and mascara running down your face.  (You will notice there are no pics of me at Six Flags for that very reason.)

6)  You know you are hot when you are willing to buy the giant memorabilia cup that costs $12, no matter how dorky you might look drinking  out of a big red sippy cup for adults or giant boot.

7)  Normal sized foods do not exist at amusement parks and baseball games.  Everything is TEXAS sized with giant prices to match.  (Hayden is that a good $10 hamburger)

8)  Inevitably, your friend will text you that they just saw you on national TV at the baseball game when you have just began consuming a giant footlong hotdog covered in cheese and drinking out of a giant boot cup.

9)  If you are asked if you would like guacamole added to that, say no.  No guacamole is worth $1.75 for a small scoop.  (Thanks Chili's Too)

10)  Nigerian cab drivers will rip you off to go a block and 1/2 back to your hotel rather than waiting 2 hours to ride a trolley with the rest of the herd.  (Be leery when he never turns on the meter)

11)  Your kids will want to talk about how such products that are being shown on poster as "not allowed items" at airport security could be used to build a bomb while going through airport security.  (Mom, how do you use hand sanitizer as an explosive?  SHHHH!)

12)  It is the luck of the draw as to what funky smell your rental car will have--this time we got a combination of old greasy french fries and feet.



I also came to the conclusion that you can tell if a trip was fun by the following:

1) Out of 46,000 people at the baseball game, your kiddos got picked out of the crowd on camera.  (Pretty awesome birthday story.)

2)  You got to hang out with awesome friends who had a 
flashpass at the Amusement Park so you didn't have to wait in lines.  (Thanks Haynes family, we had a blast with yall.)

3)  You are willing to come home, even though your flight was delayed, and stay up baking items for bake sale and packing and doing laundry for your kids to go to camp until midnight.

4)  Your son has an awesome collection of giant souvenir cups that you know you will never drink out of again.

4)  Your daughter is coming home with a really dorky hat from six flags that you will see every time they have hat day at school.  (she gets the dorkiest one every time we go)

5)   Your kids can't wait to do it again.


There you go, those are some little nuggets of travel wisdom you can use or not.